Everyone Belongs in the Kitchen

My wife, Leah, and I joke quite a bit about our meal planning when we were first starting out. 

We were both barely 20 years old—with just one little one at the time—living in a two bedroom apartment. We didn’t have much of a concept of healthy eating—we just grabbed what was cheapest and knew would fill our stomachs. Our budget was pretty tight, as we were surviving solely on my meager income as a laborer while she was working through nursing school. 

Free time and energy levels were low, so we relied heavily on pre-packaged and frozen foods. Yet how fancy we felt when we bought brand name Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese over store brand to combine with our cut up chunks of dubious Polish sausage! Or how we treated ourselves to Chinese by buying those frozen PF Chang frozen bag meals if they were on sale (hint: never look at the sodium content). An unfortunately large percentage of our daily calories came from ultra-processed bags. 

Neither of us are particularly picky or fussy eaters—it really was just a matter of we didn’t have the time, energy, or funds to get to know any better. Over the years, though, we got a little more time in the kitchen to experiment, and we had more income to spend on ingredients. 

Coupled with our need for nutrition from dabbling in various forms of athleticism, particularly endurance running, we gradually developed an appreciation for being in the kitchen, preparing food, and eating stuff that genuinely nourished our bodies. 

It’s a far cry from where I had started, really only eating things that came out of a microwave. 

Growing up in a house with pretty traditional gender roles, the general rule was the kitchen was the domain of the womenfolk. Women cooked, produced babies, and took care of the house and men fixed stuff and brought home the bread and butter. Outside of making sandwiches and cooking some eggs—maybe peeling some potatoes and shucking corn—there was never any push towards learning to actually cook for myself. I left for college at 17 not knowing how to tell if chicken was cooked through, how to saute vegetables, or other basic, yet super important, skills.

As a result, in my earlier years, I consumed an ungodly amount of Cup O’Noodles, Clif Bars, and other types of foods you should probably only eat in extreme moderation. 

But I’ve since decided to make sure my own kids, my daughter as well as sons, grow up knowing their way around a kitchen. Everybody has to eat, so everybody belongs in the kitchen. It’s a daily process, but I’m hoping by the time they’re out on their own, they’ll know how to shop for groceries and prepare a decent, wholesome meal by themselves. That doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, but it’s amazing when kids leave for college, the life skills they may or may not possess. I remember being floored by fellow freshmen who’d never done a load of their own laundry, or shopped for their own groceries. 

These days, Leah is on an almost entirely plant-based diet, occasionally eating seafood. I’m definitely more of an opportunistic eater, something I refer to as the raccoon diet, where I’m not afraid to eat garbage if that’s what’s available. But between the two of us, I think it ends up being a fairly decent balance for the kids, where we don’t allow a whole lot of processed or junky stuff in the house but also aren’t afraid to chow treats once in a while.

But to distill some important stuff I’ve learned over the past few years:

• Focus on whole foods. Learning how to turn the most basic ingredients into meals is one of the most enjoyable parts of being domesticated. So when you go grocery shopping, or when you’re preparing your grocery list, start with the most basic ingredients: rice, oats, fresh produce, meat, and other minimally processed foods. What I’ve learned in most cases, the simpler the better—both taste-wise and nutritionally. 
• Kids are more likely to eat what they had a hand in preparing, even if it their only job was to watch water boil. After watching a few episodes of Chopped, my kids decided they wanted to try their hand at making a dish with only a select few ingredients. I left them to their own devices and before long they produced a bowl of “Double Onion Yum” as they called it. It consisted of melted cheese, red onion and yellow onion, along with some other random bits. They were immensely proud. Then proceeded to eat all of it. Like, straight up, a big bowl of slightly cooked onions. But creating a meal and sharing it is powerful stuff, and kids feel pride in accomplishing cooking something. Always try to harness that power to get them to expand their eating horizons. 
• Work on basic skills as often as you can. Think of your kiddos as little sous-chefs and assign them work prepping food, washing things, opening cans, chopping stuff up. Teach them how to fry and boil eggs as soon as they seem responsible enough to be around a hot stove. 
• Watch lotsa cooking shows. I had mentioned Chopped earlier, but even one of the buhjillion different baking shows will do. Work in an episode or two if you’re a frequent show-watcher. Why? Because they’re inspiring! It will get your gears turning on possibilities in your own kitchen, and I know we’ve gotten out of numerous food ruts after watching a few good episodes of Top Chef. 

Know ahead of time that you’ll probably fall off the wagon, the kids will likely eat fast food once in a while, and you’ll find yourself too busy to properly prep and cook. That’s okay. Just go back to the basics with simple, straightforward recipes. And use it as bonding time with the kids. Show them how to peel the potatoes, set them to boil on the stove, and how the process of meal preparation goes from start to finish, planning > cooking > eating > clean up.